i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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