It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
