so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
