This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
