after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Don't tell me you're on acid again
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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