Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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