Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Randomize
