pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
my being single is dangerous.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
