Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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