I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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