You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
