I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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