it was like eating out sand paper
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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