so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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