Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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