we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
