I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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