i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
