:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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