i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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