The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
