I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
