You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
