i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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