can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
