New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
