yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
