i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
