I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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