bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
