3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
