Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize