So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
