to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
