Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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