We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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