But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
