Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
