is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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