her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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