Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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