The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
