he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
