Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
