shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
