Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
