i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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