White coat. Heels.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
His hands were made for my vagina.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize