My room smells like vodka and shame
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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