So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
