It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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