rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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