Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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