We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
