my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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