After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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