I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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