He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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