So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
