Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
bring money and cleavage
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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