yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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