after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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