He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
