Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My dick has a subreddit
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
