i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
