Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
