Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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