I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
